Starting Out Gentle – More Advice for New Tops

If you’re new to facesitting or exploring topping in general, it’s easy to feel pressure to go “hard” or deliver a long, intense session right away. But here’s the truth: you don’t have to escalate to extreme intensity to be a “real” top. Starting gentle isn’t just okay—it can be deeply satisfying for both you and your bottom.

Advanced facesitters will sometimes do long, heavy sessions, but they all started somewhere. Beginning gently allows you to build confidence, learn your partner’s responses, and explore what brings you both pleasure. This is your chance to discover what you enjoy about the dynamic without worrying about performance.

Practical Tips for Getting Started

1. Choose soft, comfortable clothing.
As the top, what you wear can shape the experience. Soft fabrics like cotton or jersey are gentle against the bottom’s face and make it easier to relax into the session. Comfortable clothing also helps you feel confident and focused on the connection rather than adjusting or fidgeting.

2. Scent matters.
A clean scent can be comforting and grounding for a gentle session, while a slightly musky or natural scent can be intimate and erotic. Don’t overthink it—experiment to find what feels good for both of you.

3. Nude or clothed?
You don’t have to commit to full nudity right away. Many new tops feel more secure starting clothed or partially clothed—soft clothing keeps the session comfortable for both partners. Over time, you may explore nudity as a way to increase intimacy and direct sensation, but it’s perfectly fine to start gently and build confidence gradually.

4. Positions to try.
Start with simple, comfortable positions that give you control. Forward or reverse are both great options. Leaning forward or back slightly can change sensations subtly without overwhelming your bottom.

5. Hovering and light grinding.
Gentle hovering or soft grinding can be incredibly stimulating without being intense. This allows you to explore rhythm, weight distribution, and teasing without committing to full pressure or long sessions. Pay attention to your bottom’s responses and adjust your movements accordingly. This can be particularly effective if you’re playing with scent.

6. Consider specialized furniture.
Using tools like smother boxes, queening chairs, or padded surfaces can make gentle sessions more comfortable for you as the top. These pieces allow you to maintain positions with less strain while still giving your bottom an intimate, controlled experience. They also provide a subtle framework to experiment safely with different angles, weights, and pressures.

7. Listen and communicate.
Even gentle sessions benefit from attention to your partner’s body language and subtle feedback. Ask, observe, adjust. The more you connect in these early sessions, the more rewarding the experience will be.

Remember: Gentle doesn’t mean boring or ineffective. Many bottoms love slow, soft, exploratory sessions that focus on presence, teasing, and subtle control. Starting gently lets you learn, play, and enjoy the experience without pressure, laying a foundation for confidence and skill if you later choose to explore longer or more intense sessions.