Facesitting doesn’t have to be an intense or overtly dominant act—at its core, it can be playful, affectionate, and deeply intimate. For those whose partners are more on the vanilla side of the sexual spectrum, the idea of sitting on someone’s face might feel awkward, intimidating, or even a little silly. But with the right approach, facesitting can become a shared source of connection, fun, and pleasure. Here’s how to ease your partner into it and make the experience enjoyable for both of you.
Start with Communication and Curiosity
As with any new activity in the bedroom, it all begins with honest, open communication. Introduce the idea gently, emphasizing that it’s something you find exciting and that you’d love to explore together. Let your partner know that they can take things at their own pace and that you’re focused on mutual comfort and enjoyment—not performance.
Try something like:
“I think it’d be really hot to have you sit on my face sometime—it’s something I fantasize about, but only if you’re curious about it too.”
Address Their Concerns with Reassurance
Common worries include fears of being “too heavy,” accidentally smothering you, or not looking sexy enough. Be ready to offer sincere reassurance:
- Weight worries? Make it clear you want them on your face and that you’ll let them know if anything feels uncomfortable.
- Control fears? Let them know they’re free to hover or sit lightly—there’s no pressure to go full weight from the start.
- Feeling awkward? Normalize the silliness! Laughing together can ease tension and build intimacy.
Try the Hover Technique First
Encourage your partner to start by kneeling over your face, with most of their weight on their knees or supported by a bed frame or headboard. This allows them to get used to the sensation without the fear of overwhelming you. Guide their hips with your hands, and let them know it’s okay to shift or pause as needed.
Make It About Their Pleasure
Remind your partner that this is all about their enjoyment. Emphasize how sexy it is for you to be in that submissive, devoted position. Give them permission to relax, grind a little, and see how good it can feel.
You can even take it outside the realm of oral sex. Facesitting can be teasing and sensual without penetration—just the closeness, warmth, and visual power of the position can be incredibly arousing.
Use Pillows and Positioning for Comfort
Stack some pillows behind your head and shoulders to elevate your face slightly, which can make things more comfortable for both of you. You can also try sitting on a couch with your partner straddling you while you’re reclined—it’s a little less intimidating than being flat on a bed.
Keep It Light, Keep It Fun
Facesitting doesn’t have to be serious or ceremonial. If things feel a little goofy at first, embrace that. Laugh, flirt, experiment. Sometimes the sexiest experiences are the ones that grow out of shared vulnerability and a willingness to try something new.
Conclusion
Facesitting can be a thrilling and empowering act, even when done gently and with a vanilla partner. With clear communication, playful energy, and a focus on comfort and fun, your partner may just discover that being on top—in more ways than one—feels pretty damn amazing.
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