My Partner Just Asked Me to Sit on Their Face – Now What?

First off, it’s completely normal to feel a mix of emotions. You might be feeling curious, but also a bit unsure, or even nervous. Maybe you’re wondering, “What does this mean for us?” or “Does my partner want me to dominate them?” or “Am I really comfortable doing this?” or “There’s no way I can do this without killing my partner!”

These feelings are all valid, and it’s important to take your time to process the request and figure out what feels right for you. Before you jump to an answer, take some time to better understand the request, decide how to approach it, and feel more confident about having an open, respectful conversation with your partner.

1. It’s Okay to Feel Unsure or Curious

Being asked to engage in something like facesitting can feel unexpected or even a little intimidating. The first thing to recognize is that your feelings matter just as much as your partner’s desires. You don’t need to have an immediate answer, and you’re allowed to take time to think it over. Here are some common thoughts that might be running through your mind:

“Why would my partner want this?”: Facesitting is a form of physical closeness, and for some, it can also involve feelings of power exchange. For your partner, this might be a way of experiencing intimacy, vulnerability, or even just fun playfulness. It doesn’t have to be intense unless you both want it to be.
“Is this safe or comfortable?”: It’s natural to wonder about the physical aspects of facesitting—whether you’ll feel comfortable or if it will be safe for your partner. Rest assured that with clear communication and awareness of each other’s limits, it can be both safe and enjoyable. People of all sizes can safely sit on their partner’s face. We’ll walk you through how to do this together.
“Am I expected to like this?”: Just because your partner is interested in trying something new doesn’t mean you’re obligated to be immediately enthusiastic. Your comfort and consent are just as important. It’s okay to be curious without feeling pressure to like it or engage fully right away. Your pace matters too.

2. Start with an Open Conversation

Before anything else, it’s important to have a non-judgmental conversation with your partner. Here’s how to approach it:

Ask What It Means for Them: Start by getting a better understanding of why your partner is asking for this. Maybe it’s about feeling close to you, exploring trust, or enjoying something sensual. Understanding their motivations can help you connect more with the idea, or it might help clarify how to approach it in a way that feels more comfortable for both of you.
Express Your Feelings: Share any concerns or questions you might have, whether it’s about feeling nervous or simply not knowing what to expect. You could say something like, “I’ve never done this before, so I’m a little unsure, but I’m open to talking about it more.”
Discuss Comfort Zones and Boundaries: If you’re open to exploring this but have some reservations, it’s important to set boundaries. You could try, “I’m willing to try, but let’s make sure we go slow, and I want to check in frequently.” Make it clear that you can stop at any time if you feel uncomfortable.

3. Explore the Possibilities Together

If you’re feeling open to the idea, the next step is thinking about how you’d like to approach facesitting in a way that feels good for both of you.

Take It Slow: There’s no rush! Start gently, maybe by sitting lightly or hovering over your partner rather than applying your full weight. The key is mutual comfort, and your partner should respect your pace.
Find What Works for You: It’s okay if you feel hesitant about the idea of being in a dominant position. Facesitting can be about power dynamics, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s as much about closeness and physical connection as anything else. You are in control of how you approach it—whether you keep things playful or experiment with more intense dynamics.

4. Prioritize Safety and Comfort

If you do decide to try facesitting, you’ll want to make sure that both you and your partner feel safe and comfortable. Here’s how:

Keep the Focus on Comfort: Make sure you feel stable and supported in whatever position you try, and regularly check in with your partner to make sure they can breathe easily and are still enjoying the experience. It’s okay to ask, “Are you comfortable?” or “How are you feeling?”
Use Non-Verbal Signals: If speaking is difficult during facesitting, agree on a non-verbal signal your partner can use if they need a break or want to stop. This could be tapping your leg or using hand gestures.
Be Mindful of Weight and Pressure: If you’re concerned about putting too much pressure on your partner’s face, you can start by keeping some weight on your knees or positioning yourself so you can easily adjust how much pressure you apply.

5. There’s No Right or Wrong Way to Feel

At the end of the day, it’s important to honor your feelings. Maybe you try facesitting and enjoy it, or maybe it’s not for you—and that’s completely fine! Your relationship can be just as fulfilling without trying everything your partner suggests. What matters most is that you both feel heard, respected, and connected.

Takeaways

You are allowed to feel uncertain or curious. Your feelings are valid, and you should never feel pressured into anything.
Communicate openly and respectfully with your partner about your boundaries and desires.
Safety and comfort come first. Take things slow, check in regularly, and make sure both of you feel comfortable and connected throughout.
This is a journey together. Whether you decide to try facesitting or not, the important thing is that you and your partner maintain trust and communication.

By approaching this with curiosity and care, you can navigate this new request in a way that feels empowering and respectful for both of you.